Paul Reports - Maintaing a Positive Attitude

Consider the Following... Maintaining a Positive Attitude

If you always look at people who have more than you, you will always be envious and sad. If you look at people who have less than you, you will always be grateful and happy.

If you have High Expectations you will always be disappointed; if you have Low Expectations you will always be pleasantly surprised.

Savor the senses. Savor taste, savor sights, savor sounds, savor touch, savor smells. When you savor something you are living in the moment.

Just sit and watch as the Sun sets. Don't turn on the lights as it begins to get dark. Notice how the light changes as it fades. Don't turn on the radio, or the television. Sit in silence. Learn to be alone with yourself.

Don't think. Find a word that means something to you, and slowly repeat it in your mind until all that you are thinking about is this one word (mantra). Then stop thinking of the word, and you will have cleared your mind of internal dialogue.

If you begin to think about other stuff, just take a deep breath, and repeat your word until you can stop thinking again. Too much internal dialogue creates stress and confusion.

Listen to sounds. Don't think about them, or what they mean, let them wash over you.

Whenever you catch yourself thinking in a negative pattern, say to yourself: "No negative thoughts.", and then think about the exact opposite.

We are going to fool ourselves in some way, so why not fool ourselves to make us feel better (optimism) instead of feeling bad (pessimism).

Once you are in the habit of thinking positively (it takes practice), then you will continue to think this way, unless you allow the old ways creep back in.

Try not to have expectations about other people. They have their lives to live, and most of their decisions are made without anyone but themselves in mind.

People are raised differently. Things that you might take for granted, such as "How people should be treated, and how they should treat me", are learned behaviors. Other people may not have been taught the same things as you. This doesn't make them bad, or mean, or stupid. It just makes them different. Had you been raised in their culture, by their parents, you would have their values, from their parents, not yours.

If you had been born in China, you would think and act like someone from China. You would not spontaneously change from a Chinese world view to your current world view, just as you are not now changing to become the Chinese person you might have been.

Communication is key. Tell people what you expect in a situation. That way they won't be surprised when you are inadvertently insulted by their actions. Never use the silent treatment on anyone. It only causes frustration, resentment, and confusion.

Find the silver lining. There are lessons to be learned in every experience. Some big, and some so small that they are hard to notice. Get in the habit (it takes practice) of always finding the thing that is positive about any situation.

Exercise. It relieves stress. Take a walk, and if you get tired of walking you can run for a while.

Find a hobby. Find several hobbies. Hobbies are good ways to get into a meditative state of mind. When you concentrate, you focus your mind on just one thing to the exclusion of all else. Time passes quickly, you're not thinking negative thoughts, and you are creating something from nothing. It might be making a painting, building a birdhouse, writing a story, or whatever. It doesn't matter what the hobby is, as long as it is something that you find so interesting that you won't mind concentrating on it.

We all share human characteristics: worry, low self esteem, compassion, friendliness, love, hate, etc.. Some people, through habitual behavior, allow some of these characteristics to define them.

Realize that you are an individual who merely shares these characteristics with the rest of Humanity.

They are not you, and you are not them. If these characteristics were all there were to individual personalities, then we would all be the same. When one of these behaviors takes over your persona, look at it objectively, and deny it.

Recognize that you are distinct from your human characteristics, and that you can still be whatever you like without feeling the need to adopt all of the trappings of a particular human characteristic (such as a worrier).

What you do is not who you are. You are you, and you do things that interest you.

If you tend to worry about things...don't. Let it go. Do not indulge in these thoughts. You may know deep down inside that everything is going to be all right, so why let yourself create doubts in your own mind? Think of this little worry-voice in your mind as someone else trying to talk you out of something, or confuse you.

Would you let them do it? Or would you tell them that they are wrong, that you are strong, and that things will eventually work out. Treat this worry-voice as someone else, who doesn't really know you, and deny the negative thoughts.



	HomePage > Philosophy > Consider the Following...
	Consider the Following... Maintaining a Positive Attitude If you always look at people who have more than you, you will always be envious and sad. If you look at people who have less than you, you will always be grateful and happy. If you have High Expectations you will always be disappointed; if you have Low Expectations you will always be pleasantly surprised. Savor the senses. Savor taste, savor sights, savor sounds, savor touch, savor smells. When you savor something you are living in the moment. Just sit and watch as the Sun sets. Don't turn on the lights as it begins to get dark. Notice how the light changes as it fades. Don't turn on the radio, or the television. Sit in silence. Learn to be alone with yourself. Don't think. Find a word that means something to you, and slowly repeat it in your mind until all that you are thinking about is this one word (mantra). Then stop thinking of the word, and you will have cleared your mind of internal dialogue. If you begin to think about other stuff, just take a deep breath, and repeat your word until you can stop thinking again. Too much internal dialogue creates stress and confusion. Listen to sounds. Don't think about them, or what they mean, let them wash over you. Whenever you catch yourself thinking in a negative pattern, say to yourself: "No negative thoughts.", and then think about the exact opposite. We are going to fool ourselves in some way, so why not fool ourselves to make us feel better (optimism) instead of feeling bad (pessimism). Once you are in the habit of thinking positively (it takes practice), then you will continue to think this way, unless you allow the old ways creep back in. Try not to have expectations about other people. They have their lives to live, and most of their decisions are made without anyone but themselves in mind. People are raised differently. Things that you might take for granted, such as "How people should be treated, and how they should treat me", are learned behaviors. Other people may not have been taught the same things as you. This doesn't make them bad, or mean, or stupid. It just makes them different. Had you been raised in their culture, by their parents, you would have their values, from their parents, not yours. If you had been born in China, you would think and act like someone from China. You would not spontaneously change from a Chinese world view to your current world view, just as you are not now changing to become the Chinese person you might have been. Communication is key. Tell people what you expect in a situation. That way they won't be surprised when you are inadvertently insulted by their actions. Never use the silent treatment on anyone. It only causes frustration, resentment, and confusion. Find the silver lining. There are lessons to be learned in every experience. Some big, and some so small that they are hard to notice. Get in the habit (it takes practice) of always finding the thing that is positive about any situation. Exercise. It relieves stress. Take a walk, and if you get tired of walking you can run for a while. Find a hobby. Find several hobbies. Hobbies are good ways to get into a meditative state of mind. When you concentrate, you focus your mind on just one thing to the exclusion of all else. Time passes quickly, you're not thinking negative thoughts, and you are creating something from nothing. It might be making a painting, building a birdhouse, writing a story, or whatever. It doesn't matter what the hobby is, as long as it is something that you find so interesting that you won't mind concentrating on it. We all share human characteristics: worry, low self esteem, compassion, friendliness, love, hate, etc.. Some people, through habitual behavior, allow some of these characteristics to define them. Realize that you are an individual who merely shares these characteristics with the rest of Humanity. They are not you, and you are not them. If these characteristics were all there were to individual personalities, then we would all be the same. When one of these behaviors takes over your persona, look at it objectively, and deny it. Recognize that you are distinct from your human characteristics, and that you can still be whatever you like without feeling the need to adopt all of the trappings of a particular human characteristic (such as a worrier). What you do is not who you are. You are you, and you do things that interest you. If you tend to worry about things...don't. Let it go. Do not indulge in these thoughts. You may know deep down inside that everything is going to be all right, so why let yourself create doubts in your own mind? Think of this little worry-voice in your mind as someone else trying to talk you out of something, or confuse you. Would you let them do it? Or would you tell them that they are wrong, that you are strong, and that things will eventually work out. Treat this worry-voice as someone else, who doesn't really know you, and deny the negative thoughts.